A young writer explores the issues of dealing with race, friendships and stereotypes…..   and vents (a little).  Enjoy!  Amen Sister.

“Do you get sun burn?”

You know, it was never really that big a deal. It still isn’t, honestly. But I do feel the need however to finally express some feelings that I have wanted to share for a very long time now. Why have I never said anything before? I don’t know. Surely there are a variety of reasons: fear of scaring away the friends I have made, concern about offending people, misrepresentation of who I am, misrepresentation of the entire minority community? But these are things I have known for a very long time, maybe since that first day in second grade when I was asked by another child;

“If you take a shower, will you still be that color?”

I am a sweet, token Oreo. I am that “safe” black girl that is “cool” and acceptable… “Ya know, like us.” You can bring me home to mom and dad. Your parents will, most times, let you come over to my house to play because my family is safe and acceptable as well.

“Your mom is from Trinidad? Cool. What part of Africa is that?”

Let me take a step back. Or two. This note is the result of years and years of constantly having to listen to comments that I truly do find either offensive or unnecessary… or just plain stupid! They have come from my best friends, and from people I have just met. They have come from people of all walks of life, ethnicities, and economic backgrounds. To be “Political Correct” has become a joke. Today, it’s all about freedom of speech, and the infamous phrase “oh come on, you know what I mean!” Well, actually… no, I don’t always know what you mean. And there is the problem. If I were to ever say anything about the comments that I hear, and the questions I receive, I would risk losing EVERYTHING I have worked my entire life for. I would risk the future of that little brown girl in second grade right now being asked the same stupid question I was asked when I was in her shoes. I would risk wasting all of the sacrifices my parents made to ensure that I grew up never wanting nor needing for anything. Because if I told you what was really on my mind… you might not like me that much.

“You must be happy that Obama won?”

This is no way an attack on anyone. I know no one is perfect. I am not perfect, and I am sure I have made my fair share of comments that if I could, I would take back. I am writing this note because I DO care about our future as a society, and I consider you a friend (you in the universal sense… I hope you are reading this even if you actually don’t know me that well). We are not our parents, and most certainly are not our grandparents. We are in a day and age where we should honestly just know better.

“Can I touch your hair?”

No, you cannot touch my hair. Why would you want to touch it?! It’s just hair. Be honest, because its “different” and different is always intriguing. Think about the person you are asking the question to first though. I rarely think about race until I am asked questions like that.

“I grew up in the suburbs, so I don’t really listen to rap.”

Umm. A) I grew up in the suburbs too. B) I like “hip hop.” C) What does that mean then? Why do I like hip hop and you don’t, and we grew up in the same area?

“Oh…well, I mean there were a lot of white people where I grew up”

Umm. D) There were a lot of white people were I grew up too… probably MORE than where you did. E) So again, what do you mean?

I mean this with the utmost respect and love. I am writing this letter from the bottom of my heart because I need people to understand that you cannot and should not be so liberal with your comments and questions sometimes. Think before you speak. And if I ask you what you meant by that statement, have the balls and decency to answer my questions and not give me that old cop out answer, “oh… well, you know what I mean.” No, I don’t what you mean.

“Oh my God Courtney, I was at this club, and this big black guy kept trying to grind all up on me.”

I don’t think I need to tell you what is wrong with this statement.

“Courtney?… that’s such a white girl name.”

Fumes… it’s like fire inside.

“Oh, you don’t date black guys do you?”

That’s just plain hurtful.

“Oh no he didn’t!” (Followed by a snap of the fingers)

When have you EVER seen me say or do that?!!!

Do not treat people according to what you see, or what mold you think they fit in. I am an individual, just like you. Yes, I do get sun burn. I am still this color after I take a shower (to that kid in Second grade). Trinidad is not in Africa, it’s in the Caribbean (read a book). I am happy Obama won, because I agree with his policy’s and McCain is a joke (don’t hate). Yes, you can touch my hair.

This was purely and simply a vent. So please feel free to leave your comments below. In fact, I welcome them. However, while this was a shameless vent it did come from my heart and is not meant to offend anyone. Do not leave comments if they are disrespectful and/or rude. I will erase them and do some evil black voo doo magic on you. Just joking (but not really).

Love.

Wong

Oh yea, the secret about Oreos. We’re freaking awesome!

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